GOING HOME

One family's diary, journeys and thoughts

Monday, May 19, 2008

Fit to drive?

Did you know that to get a driver license in Armenia, you need an approval from... a gynecologist? AND an otolaryngologist. AND a surgeon.

Basically, in order for police to issue a driver license, you need to bring a certificate from your regional outpatient clinic, stating that you are healthy and sound enough to drive a motor vehicle.

In order to get that certificate, one needs to actually GO to the psycho-neurological and narcological clinics first and get certificates from them stating that the person in question has never been admitted to the clinics (or, in short, that I am not a psycho or a drug addict). A computer database connecting all these institutions is a thing of the future in Armenia. In my case, seeing as my passport does not have a permanent address stamp (instead it states that I am a permanent resident of USA) – I had to go get yet another paper from what you might call condominium that I actually live at the address I give as mine.

Are you getting tired reading this yet? Well, it took me a few mornings to get all the paperwork together, and it was raining most of the time. When I finally collected all the required papers and returned to the outpatient hospital, the condescending “vice-chief medical officer” sent me down a row of offices for a “total checkup”. Fortunately, most doctors realize how absurd the outdated procedure is, and simply sign the paper without attempting to run any procedures on you. (If I had a serious health issue, I wouldn't wait till getting a driver license to report it to a doctor, would I?) Bureaucracy at its best, where either you waste time or you bribe someone and get your certificate issued without further ado. The only procedure I underwent willingly was determining my blood type – it was so long since it was done, and it’s always good to know.

In the end, after spending several hours and about $33 for all the papers, I got what I needed – a paper with my name and picture, stating I am not in any way prevented from driving a car. It even says I have a 20/20 vision, when in fact I am very nearsighted – but I preferred to not let them know I am wearing contact lenses. I could have been a blind deaf pregnant psycho drug addict with persecution mania and still get that paper, though - if I was willing to pay the right amount to the right person…

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