House-selling bloopers

I posted an ad in newspapers about selling my apartment. It is nicely located by a park, is in a good building, and is rather large, so I didn’t have a shortage of phone calls and visitors. Some are worth posting here.


-Hello!
-Are you selling an apartment?
-Yes!
-Okay…
Follows a barrage of questions: what, where, when, how much. Then…
-So who should we talk to about it?
-???
It took me a second to understand what the guy is asking. Then I realized what it meant. “Is there a man in the house we can talk to?”
I had to disappoint them. I said I was the one in charge. I don’t remember them calling back.



The visitors provided much entertainment, too. Some were scared of the cat (“can you please take it away?”). Some didn’t like the fact that the floors/ceilings in the building are not concrete, but wooden beams with plaster. Well, it’s a 1940 building, so if you like concrete, you gotta do it yourself.

Some simply wrinkled their noses and said something like “It is impossible to live here, this needs (a huge number) dollars to renovate.”

Gee, thanks! I don’t know if those tactful people noticed, but we actually LIVE there! AND, the amount to be spent on renovation is entirely their own problem – I don’t care if they spend 10 grand or 100 for it, it doesn’t change the value of the apartment.